318 - I've reached the 30 lb mark!

Today was momentous! 

Why you may ask? 

Well...

When I started this little ginormous weight loss journey I weighed in at a whopping 348 pounds. 

Heaven forbid - I hope I never see that number again! Today I stepped on the scale and weighed 318 pounds. So I decided it was time for me to go and get a bike!

I'd like to introduce you to LuLu...

Isn't she lovely?

I got a basket for her and just ordered a bell from Amazon.com - because no cruiser bike is complete without a bell! 

Now - on to business! (not really...) 

I didn't get any entries from anyone for my new Friday Feature - which I have now dubbed "The Skinny Dip" -  this past week. What.... you want more than one day's notice??? OK - well get your entries in to me by next Thursday and someone will be featured on the first ever Shrink to Fit Skinny Dip on Friday!!!

Send me your weight loss tips, stories, whatever!

(For more info on what to send click here.)

And you'll get this cool badge for your blog:

Or this one...

{Plus Size} Fashion Friday!

We'll be seeing the triple digit weather soon here in Phoenix, AZ. Joy... So it's time to start planning my summer wardrobe! With the hot weather here, I prefer wearing dresses during the summer. Here are some gorgeous plus size dresses that are just my style for this summer!

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And for lounging by the pool.... Ahhh summer!

{all photos from here unless otherwise noted)
P.S. Weight was 319.6 this morning! WOO!

321.6

That "time of the month" swelling must be gone now :)

The first person told me that I look like I've lost weight today - it was my boss. I have lost weight - 26.4 pounds to be exact.

How do I feel? Hungry...

I was home sick Tuesday and did some research online about wheat and gluten allergies - because of the violent revolting my stomach has been doing in response to certain foods - which is also what kept me home from work.

I don't have an "official" diagnosis - but I'm feeling fairly certain that I have allergies to both. I didn't eat anything containing wheat or gluten today - I feel fine. Yesterday I had gluten containing foods in my breakfast. I immediately started wheezing and getting sick to my stomach. I had wheat for lunch - same reaction plus excessive heartburn for the remainder of the day. Nothing else I had with either meal should have caused those reactions. Dinner - no gluten or wheat. I was fine.

This is a whole new issue I may have to consider as I plug along in my weight loss journey... I've got more research and experimenting to do...

I Want To Feature YOU!!!

It's been a struggle keeping up with answering all the comments on my 3 blogs recently (over-achiever much?). But I want you all to know that I read and appreciate each and every comment, every thought and every word of advice that you leave on my posts. You are all such wonderful inspirations to me!

I'd like to have an opportunity to give back to you for all the wonderful ways you all enrich my life on a daily basis. So I am going to make Fridays here at Shrink To Fit "Feature Friday" and each week I'm going to showcase YOU, dear readers!

You all have such wonderful advice and unique stories and I want to share them with the rest of my readers!

So... if you would like to be featured on my Feature Fridays simply send me an email with whatever (weight loss related information) you feel like sharing with my readers, be it your own personal weight loss story, your favorite diet and exercise tips or tricks or just words of encouragement for those of us who are embarking upon the journey to health.

Send me a link to your site, if you'd like pictures included in your post, you can send those along as well. If you have a health related giveaway you'd like to do - I'm fine with that too! I will also place your blog button up on top of my blog for the week following your feature so that you can get some exposure as well.

So get your stories together and send them to me at ShrinkToFitBlog@gmail.com. If you have any questions, you can reach me there as well. If I get any entries I'll start this Friday and then entries will be put up every Friday from here on out in the order in which they were received.

I am really looking forward to this and hope to see lots and lots of wonderful stories from you guys!

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Jurassic Erase!

Erase, erase, erase...

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Well the entire weekend was a flop.

The rest of the day Saturday - I stayed hungry. I ended the day with a glass of wine and the remainder of the chocolate covered almonds. But can I just say that I'm glad that those almonds are finally GONE?!?! No more constant temptation on the kitchen counter. 

Sunday morning? The Enabler (AKA POPS) wanted Golden Corral for breakfast. I fully intended to low carb it at the breakfast buffet. I walked in, ordered an unsweet tea, got my salad and sat down. Then they put out a fresh batch of biscuits... and hash browns... bacon, French toast... etc. So those well laid plans flew directly out the window as I covered my plate in Texas toast and creamed chipped beef. 

After devouring that (among other things) I headed for the dessert table. A piece of carrot cake AND red velvet cake? YES PLEASE! The good news is that I was only able to shove down about a bite of each of the desserts before my stomach began it's violent protest. Such a waste...

I didn't eat lunch, Pops made chicken enchiladas for dinner. After dinner I was all processed carbed out so I went directly to bed. This is the number on the scale that I woke up to this morning:

326.9

Bad. Up 3 from where I was. Oh well...

Today is a brand new day. So far I've had blackberries and I'm having a cup of coffee right now. My first week of Weight Watchers yielded minimal results and LOTS and LOTS of cravings! I'm thinking I just can't stomach certain foods - things like sweets, milk, cheese, bread, pasta etc make me crave them more and then I overeat. I'm thinking I may go back to the 4 hour diet - nothing but beans, veggies and meat 6 days a week - a cheat day once a week. My problem is that I can't stick to just one cheat day... There's always an excuse, there's always a reason. Pops is a good one to blame it on. But the fact of the matter is that I have zero will power. Where does one go to get some of this "will power" stuff?

Beautiful

"My fans make me feel beautiful... 

Because they make me feel understood.

And feeling understood when you're being yourself?

That's beautiful..."

-Taylor Swift

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I Want That!

This is not just a scale - oh no. It is the epic-est scale EVER!

It not only measures your weight accurately - it also calculates fat mass, lean mass and BMI. Then it displays it (through the power of WiFi) all for you on a private, password protected website where progress is easily tracked and stored.

AND there's a free iPhone app that comes along with it...

WIN!

I will now begin accepting donations for this... ;) 

As well as this:

I've been hearing a lot about these little gizmos lately - The FitBit. You just attach it to yourself (you can even just clip it to your bra if you'd like) and it monitors your exercise and sleep. 

For $100 bucks can it also smack my hand when I go for more chocolate covered almonds?

No?

Damn...

Alright then... So instead of those neat techno gadgets that I want, I bought this:

The Anatomy Of A Binge

I have to work today - 5:30am (I'm here right now) - but I couldn't sleep last night. I was hungry. I was bloated, achy and crampy. My stomach hurt. All night long. I didn't get up and eat anything. I did exceptionally well yesterday and I didn't want to screw it up. I turned on the TV so I wouldn't think about wanting to eat something. The craving for food went away.

I watched the hours tick away on the clock until my cell phone alarm went off signaling that it was time to shower.

I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and seeing as my "visiting aunt" left town yesterday, I decided to step on the scale and see where I was at.

324.0

My morning went downhill from there.

How could this be? I didn't overeat - in fact according to my Weight Watchers iPhone app, I UNDER ate yesterday. And the day before!

I left for work with plenty of time to spare and had already made up my mind: I was stopping at Starbucks.

When I got on the freeway my plan was to get a tall iced coffee with sugar free vanilla flavoring and splenda - and a protein plate. My go to breakfast. Throw out the bread, eat the rest.

As I traveled down the road I thought no... I'll get a iced Caramel Macchiato with soy milk and a protein plate. Those aren't too bad and hell, I was under the past 2 days - I can splurge!

Then I remembered the cake pops. Mmmm cake pops... Not as good as the ones my sister made for my niece's birthday, but almost... and the red velvet whoopie pies.

What I'm about to type is going to sound like excuses, but this is exactly what was going through my mind as I drove toward my Starbucks demise:

"I feel like shit. I mean, I really feel like shit. No sleep... gotta work... I hate my life..."

"I'm not losing any weight anymore."

"Maybe if I eat some crappy food today, it'll jump start my weight loss tomorrow."

"Well now, that sounds perfectly rational.... It's not my period, it's that I need to re-jump start my weight loss!"

(this was seriously logical to me at 5:00am)

"I'll binge for breakfast and get back on track this afternoon!"

"BRILLIANT!!!"

So I pull into Starbucks and before I realize what has happened, I have a Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato with soy milk in my hand - 2 birthday cake pops & 2 mini red velvet whoopie pies in my bag.

The first cake pop is gone before I even pull out of the Starbucks parking lot. The second is eaten as I turn on my computer at work. They are as delicious as I remember - maybe even more so.

Without even a moment's hesitation I start on the first red velvet whoopie pie. It's terribly stale but I don't care. I bought it dammit, I'm going to eat it! I sit for a moment after I finish it and realize what I've done. I've just talked myself into a binge. Or did I trick myself into one?

A sugar binge - of all things. I'm going to feel even more horrible for the remainder of the day.

I had one more whoopie pie left. I wasn't going to waste it! So I ate it.

Do you see what I did there? I realized what I was doing and I still did it! There was no guilt, there was no "I should just throw this out". I just kept going.

Now I'm down to the bottom of my Macchiato. My stomach is violently protesting already. Maybe it actually will "re-jump start" my weight loss. If I spend the entire day in the bathroom...

EVIL!

So many triggers in the grocery store... This is one of my biggest ones:

It's an Easter tradition for me. In fact - it's pretty much my ONLY Easter tradition. Those little chocolate coated, creme filled eggs of wonderful-ness. 

Well. I'm not going to have any this year. I stood at the check-out in the grocery store tonight and they had a damn basket of them hanging off the counter! I will not fall victim to your evilness!!!

I'm not happy about it. But I'm not eating any this year. Dammit. 

You Like Me!

It was hard for me to start a blog like this - one in which I vowed to tell all, the good AND the bad. It's been rather pleasant to discover that not only do you support me, inspire me and actually READ my madness, you kinda like me too :)

Thank you, lovely bloggy buddies, for your support, your friendships and your comments. I appreciate every single solitary one of you who takes the time to read what I post here. I've received a few blog awards that I'd like to share with you:

This week I have been awarded the Skinny Award at Skinny Bean! Thank you Jill!!!

My dear friend Katie over at Chicken Noodle Gravy has awarded me these 3 award: 

And last but certainly not least - I received another one of these from 2 Stevie at Jewels For Hope!

Wanna Go Out? No Thanks... I Have To Wash... My Dog.

Since this is the Blog 'O Complete Honesty - I want to get this out there: I don't date.

In fact, I haven't been on a date since 2007. I have started pushing away any possible suitors - not because I desire to be alone for the rest of my life - but for many other, more complicated reasons.

One of which is of course - my weight. To be quite frank, I don't want anyone to see me naked at the moment. Kind of hard to maintain a relationship when you don't want the other party to see you naked. The male species frowns on that. Sex is horrifyingly embarrassing for me.

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I'm also concerned because I have no sex drive. I've discussed this with my doctor - he assures me that it's the weight. Everything is the weight. I know larger women than me who have perfectly healthy sex drives. I have none. I doubt it's the weight - but for my "lady bits" doctor its his go-to diagnosis:

Abnormal periods? It's the weight. We're not going to run any tests - definitely the weight. OK fine, we'll do an ultrasound. Nope! Nothing wrong. It's the weight. Biopsy... nothing wrong, it's the weight. 

You bled for 6 months straight because you didn't have a period in over a year? It's the weight. Here - take all these birth control pills in one day, try not to puke and call me if it doesn't stop (it didn't).

I got off track... back to the dating. Not only do I not want to date at the moment, the only people I seem to attract lately are either married, have criminal records a mile long or are otherwise unavailable (ie: live across the country - or in different ones all together). I did the "bad boy" thing - got over it. I've never been interested in being "the other woman". Long distance? Meh...Can't afford the travel at the moment.

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So up until recently I sat here, getting fatter, possibly in an attempt to push people away. I don't know why - but I do know that once I lose all this weight it won't magically solve all my problems. There are a lot of issues that I have left unresolved within myself. 

I like hiding behind my fat. It gives me a good excuse to avoid people, to avoid taking chances - and it gives me something to blame when things go wrong. It's a comfortable place - a place I've been my entire life. I'm used to it. But it has also held me back from so many things.

I am finally willing to step out of my comfort zone and to take risks. It's going to be hard, I will likely hurt, be discouraged often and fail at times, but I'm going to focus on taking it one day at a time. Then go from there...

I'm tired of living in my fat shell. It's time to take it off. 

323.2

I'm still a loser! Sure it's only .2 of a pound lost since Saturday - but that's ok! With my "Auntie Flo" in town I think things could be much worse.

My weight loss journey has been a long time in the making - I'd like to tell you a little bit about some of the small changes I've made up to this point that are helping me reach my goals.

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1) Don't drink calories: I've completely cut out all sugary sodas, juices and delicious Starbucks concoctions that contain any sugar. The only time I consume calories when I drink something is if it contains soy or coconut milk - sometimes coffee creamer - the sugar free, dairy free kind! Every now and then I'll have an alcoholic beverage that contains calories but I try to limit those and choose drinks that are lower in sugar and calories. This was my first little change that has had a big impact on my lifestyle changes. Some of those Starbucks concoctions contain enough calories for a meal or two! My hydration staple? Water! And lots of it! I usually drink sugar free tea with dinner.

2) Avoid white flour: this has been harder to do than the drinks. It's especially hard to do when eating out (and when you live with a senior citizen who SWEARS white flour isn't unhealthy!) But I'm proud to say that I haven't had any processed white flour in quite some time. When I DO eat it, the effect it has on me is noticeable. I want to fall into a coma and sleep for a day or two...

3) Only eat fruits first thing in the morning: fruit you say? Only in the morning? But it's healthy! Sure - it is. But it's also full of sugar. Sugar is sugar is sugar... I eat it first thing in the morning if I eat it at all so I'm sure to have enough time to burn it up during the day.

What are some of the "little tricks" that you've incorporated into your daily routines that seem to be working for you?

I'm Not Off Track - I'm Still Here!

I've done quite well this week so far actually - but I'm staying off the scale because I have a um... shall we say... "visitor" in town who likes to make my weight fluctuate and thus derail my goals. This certain visitor is also causing me to crave chocolate on a daily basis - but I'm not over doing it. I have one serving of chocolate covered almonds once a day.

I'm also dealing with a lot of stressors that normally would've caused me to go on a binge.

Well - I haven't done it.

So I just wanted to check in with ya'll and tell you how I'm doing. I'm no fatter - and no skinnier at the moment.

How is your week going?

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Top Ten Tuesday!

TOP TEN FIRSTS!

1. First Car 

My sister and I shared a little blue Geo Metro in High School. We called it the Easter Egg because... well it looked like an Easter Egg.

It kinda looked like this - but it was a 4 door
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But MY first car - that I actually purchased myself - was a 1996 red 2 door Honda Civic Hatchback

And it looked EXACTLY like that - except for the tailpipe...

2. First Boyfriend

Is it sad that I don't remember his name???

3. First Job

Cashier at Winn-Dixie - I was 15 years old

(I wanted to find you a picture of the actual Winn Dixie that I worked at but apparently pictures of the Winn Dixie in Leesburg, GA are in short supply. So here's the Movie Gallery that was in the same shopping center.)
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4. First Time Out of the Country

Sadly - it hasn't happened yet! But I have dreams of Italian vineyards...

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5. First Thing I Do In The Morning

Hit "SNOOZE"

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6. First Time Online

Probably around age 16-ish

7. First Online Person I Met In Real Life

That would be some douche I met on Myspace when I first moved to Arizona in 2006. I don't remember his name either...

myspace is for perverts...
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8. First Tragedy I Remember

When my grandmother on my mother's side passed away from Leukemia. I was 8 years old.

I miss her every day :(

9. First Grade Teacher

Uhhhh... Did I mention that I'm not so good with names?

10. First Top Ten Tuesday

On this blog? Today! Woo!

Monday's Music Moves Me!

This is a fun little blog hop I love participating in on my other blog - but today I thought I'd do it over here and share some of the musical love. This week's theme is Friendship.

In honor of my wonderful bloggy friends both new and old, here's some music honoring YOU! So put Pink on pause up there and enjoy some of these classic Disney songs about friends...

From ME to YOU! <3

Life With A Senior Citizen...

Pops: You need to add some "regular" flour to that pancake batter to give them some substance.


Me: I don't want any "regular" flour in them - it's bad for you.


Pops: No it isn't.


Me: Yes is it.


Pops: No it isn't.


Me: Yes it is! They strip out all the nutrients! 


Pops: They put them back!


Me: The 4 spray on "nutrients" they put on them don't make up for the 15 real nutrients they take out! And that doesn't even factor in the BLEACH they put on it to make it white!


Pops: Who's the nutritionist here?


Me: You went to college in the 1970's.... A lot has changed since then... Just sayin'...

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I didn't do too bad....

Just a quick update before my nap :)

I ate a small serving of a Mexican breakfast casserole, half a piece of french toast casserole, some fruit (2 apple wedges and a strawberry), a small piece of cheese and a serving of my dip at the party.

I also drank half a bottle of strawberry wine because the game wasn't going well...

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Yes. I had wine at 10am. 

After the wine lowered my inhibitions, I had about a serving of Ruffles potato chips with some ranch dip.

Then the game ended (we lost) and I left. 

For lunch I had some of my coconut flour pancakes with a banana and honey - which was probably not the best choice - but not gorging myself left me feeling dissatisfied, hungry and wanting carbs after the party.

All in all though - I did fairly well. I wanted to eat wayyy more than I did. So, another baby step accomplished: I went to a party with my friends and didn't gorge myself. Hopefully I'll make it through the weekend without gaining any weight - even with the not so great food choices today!

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL Saturday!

323.8

I'm still on the losing end! 

But here we are back at the weekend - which is much harder for me to handle than the week days. This morning I'll be brunching it with friends while watching the NHL Playoffs. When we get together there's ALWAYS a nice spread. And we eat... a TON!

My grits casserole was requested at the brunch - this is what I'd typically bring to one of our morning game get-togethers. The casserole contains grits, a tub o' butter (kidding... kinda), potatoes, onions, (it would have peppers if I didn't LOATHE them) bacon, sausage, eggs, lots o' cheese, salt, fat, fat, fat.... So I've decided at the last minute (as in last night) that I'm not making it. Why? If I make it I'm going to want to eat it - a LOT of it. 

Instead I whipped up a fruit dip last night made of whipped cream, shredded organic coconut, honey and vanilla. I'll stop this morning and get some yummy fruits. Those who wish to indulge in the dip (I may or may not) can do so, but I'll at least have some fruit to eat. I don't know what others will be bringing but hopefully I'll be fairly safe with this and not too terribly temped by the other things on the table. I'm also up and working this morning so I'll make my nice stinky egg whites breakfast at some point before I leave here - that way I won't arrive at the brunch starving to death. 

So wish me luck... I'm going to promise you all right now, dear readers, that whatever I eat I will write it on here. It'll either be a binge post or a "I did so well!" post. Only time will tell... But either way I know I have lots of people that I'm accountable to and hopefully it will be what keeps me from picking up the unneeded food items while we're cheering on our hockey team.

Weigh In & Fill In The Blank Friday

325.2

Still a loser!!!

According to my handy dandy TargetWeight iPhone app - I have 168.7 lbs remaining to lose before I get to my ultimate goal weight. We won't talk about how that's a whole person that I have to lose... No, that's for another post. This post is about good things!

Right now though - my goal is to get down to under 300. When I do - I'm going to reward myself with this..

Coach.com

AND this...

Coach.com

(If those exact ones I want can still be found somewhere when I get down under 300!)

Fill In The Blank Friday!

Today I'm linking up with The Little Things We Do... for Fill In The Blank Friday!

1.   My favorite daily responsibility is: taking care of my doggies!

2.  My least favorite daily responsibility is: dishes, laundry, cleaning, anything involving housework... 

3.  My favorite cuisine to eat when going out is: American... Preferably Southern. I like to have a taste of home every now and then.

4.  My favorite cuisine to prepare at home is: anything that's simple. uhhh... American? Which consists of pretty much... anything.

5.  Andy Warhol said that everyone is famous for 15 minutes. My claim to fame is: I'm famous in Canada, does that count?

6.  If I could have 3 wishes I would wish: first I'd wish for the ability to purchase the Phoenix Coyotes - and to make them the successful favorite of all Valley sports teams so they'd remain here in their desert home & I'd never have to deal with the "relocation rumors" ever again. 

Second, I'd wish for the ability to pay off all of my parents', sister and brother in law's and my own debts - so my parents can retire in peace! 

Third - Well... just give me more money (I'm not greedy I swear...) - I need to finish school WITHOUT taking out anymore student loans, fix up my house, hire a personal trainer... money, money, money... 

7.  My biggest pet peeve is: biggest pet peeve... biggest pet peeve... loud eating noises is probably one of my biggest ones. I have a lot. I'm rather - shall we say - set in my ways. That's a nice way to put it. I can't stand listening to someone else chew their food. I prefer to eat alone because listening to someone else's eating noises just COMPLETELY bugs me. Even if they are a quiet eater. There's still noise and it's annoying. As is SNORING. I was such a heavy sleeper as a child that I slept through a tree falling through my bedroom window (literally inches from my head!) during a tornado. Now if someone sighs in their sleep I'm awake and annoyed. The Nieces insist on sleeping in my room though when they visit - so I'm getting better about dealing with other people's sleeping noises. The Nieces don't snore though, they just kick and steal covers.