HI!!!!

So - who wants to guess at whether or not I've started exercising yet?!? 

I'm the queen of excuses! I have impressed myself lately... 

Observe:

"I can't sit on the floor and do yoga, the carpet needs vacuuming badly." 

*Vacuums* 

"Well... I can't just vacuum the carpet - look at the condition of my kitchen floor! Gotta mop it..."

*mops kitchen*

"Well since I've got the mop out anyway, I might as well do the bathrooms..."

*continues mopping*

"I think that the kitchen needs a good deep cleaning. Let me just clean off all the counters and re-arrange things a bit... OK - well... Now I'm too tired to do yoga!"

Or it's too late - or I'm tired and need a nap - or the laundry needs folding... you get the idea. So I shall continue to struggle with myself. Or perhaps I will just stay fat. I think that would be much, much easier. I'm tired of battling myself daily. I'm tired of feeling guilty over one missed step and then sinking into that hole that I can't get out of. 

But I'm also tired of sitting on the sidelines of life. I'm in a major funk right now. I'm struggling to find my way out of it. I hate everything about where I am in life right now. I feel like I should be at an entirely different place. But there's just really not too much that I can do about it today. 

I'm taking steps to better my situation, but it takes time. I miss blogging - but I don't want to write depressing "I hate my life" posts everyday. But that's kind of the point I'm at right now - there's not much good to say. I'm a Negative Nancy. 

I have some exciting things coming up - I'm going to LA for the first time over my Christmas vacation. My hockey team is going to be there the day after Christmas to play the LA Kings. I'm taking my mom to her first hockey game. My mom isn't a sports fan - but it tickles me to death that she wants to go to a hockey game because I love the sport so much. She wants to see my team, she wants to experience what I love. I love my mom for that - and for so many other things of course! That woman is an inspiration. She's been through so many things - things she didn't deserve, things that were unfair and cruel. Yet she's still able to find light in the world. I'm not so sure I could - given all the trials she's been through. 

All of that having been said - I shall leave you with this...